Isaiah 11:2 The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him — a Spirit of wisdom and understanding, a Spirit of counsel and strength, a Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the LORD.
There is a lot that I do not understand. I do not know what lies around the corner – only that there is a plan. I do not know the incredible depths of Father’s plan – only that it’s incredible. I cannot fully conceive of the enormity of Her love and wisdom – I can only imagine.
I find myself at a time in my life in which total trust and total surrender to our Father Yahweh is at the same time the strength that will get me through. This strength is not my own. It is borne from the wisdom, understanding, counsel, knowledge and strength that is Hers and can only come from Her.
As for fear… well, fear and I go back several years now. It hasn’t felt like a constant fear, but it’s been there and I’m pretty sure that it’s been used against me in the Spiritual War as well. I was called upon by Father to perform the single most important task of my entire life which is to serve Her and Her son Christ Jesus. It’s a blessing of such magnitude that I cannot put it into words. My fears stemmed from having felt the pain associated with having been a disappointment more than once and wanting to please Father and Christ. It was from this point on that I began to feel fear. I've been afraid of my own weaknesses. Afraid of my own ignorance. Afraid of making bad choices. Afraid that my best wasn’t good enough. In a nutshell I’ve been afraid of myself and my own sinful nature and of loosing the gift of eternal life. But over and above all this, I've been afraid of failing Father and Christ.
I looked up the definitions of trust and surrender and in part, trust is defined as reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. And, surrender is defined as to give oneself up, as into the power of another; submit or yield.
In Biblical times, it was Father’s will that the Israelites give up offerings to Her. These were material things. It occurs to me now though as I ponder the stirrings within my heart and mind, that it really isn’t about material things because all things already belong to Her. The Israelites were simply giving back to Father what was already Hers and that She had in turn given them.
I feel that it’s more about giving ourselves up to Her. It’s about trust and surrender. It’s about knowing that if I seek Father, She will not abandon me. It’s about knowing in my heart, that in seeking Her I truly have done the very best that I can and fully trusting Father with every fiber of my being. It’s about putting Her will before even my own will to live. It’s all intertwined and just a single, small glimpse into Father’s wisdom. And there’s much, much more…
Psalm 9:10 Those who know Your name trust in You because You have not abandoned those who seek You, LORD.
Father has spoken to my heart tonight. She has told me that despite my ignorance, my bad choices, my sinful nature… She has not abandoned me. What I need to remember, is that in seeking Her I must also trust her completely. And the time in which I need to do this most of all, is when I’m afraid.
Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I will trust in You.
In doing the best I can do, in seeking Her and trusting Her with my very eternal life, in giving myself up to Her, then Her will becomes most important and the fear is erased. Then and only then am I strong because this is when She becomes my source of strength. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Luke 21:44-46 "It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three, because the sun's light failed. The curtain of the sanctuary was split down the middle. And Jesus called out with a loud voice, "Father, into Your hands I entrust My spirit." Saying this, He breathed His last."